Rebecca Adlington, The Ugly Ducking Syndrome & The Perception of Beauty

21st November 2013, Rebecca Adlington broke down in tears on ‘I’m a Celebrity’ following a heated debate with her fellow TV show camp mates on image.

The double Olympic gold-medallist, from Mansfield, admitted to feeling “insecure” with her looks due to the public’s perception of female beauty, and confessed she had been the target of nasty remarks on social media because of her looks.

Half of the world was quick to slam Rebecca’s television breakdown, stating she shouldn’t have gone on a national reality TV show, or have been a public profile at all if she wasn’t prepared to take criticism or display her weaknesses so easily.

The other half of the world silently reflected on the society we live in and probably realised quite sadly just how they resonated with what Rebecca had said last night. I know I did.

Rebecca’s breakdown brought back memories of 7 long years of bullying abuse as a teenager for being a proper little ugly duckling, no one will ever really know how the words you hear as a young adolescent will stay with your all your life.

I was the chubby, frizzy haired akward school girl with a unibrow, yep that was me, my slender blonde school counterparts already had ‘serious’ boyfriends at 15 and were ‘making out’ behind the school bike sheds. I didn’t even know what it was to have had a first kiss until I was 19!, I was too busy keeping my eyes on the ground to avert any eye contact with boys because as soon as I made any eye contact with the world, then boom! the nasty names started.

When I first shaved my hairy legs I at 16 I felt like I had been reborn, I realised very quickly how small changes could be so empowering and set about transforming myself slowly, back then it was with simple holistic things, waxing, threading, a good hair cut and blow dry and I learnt eventually at aged 19, that soft cheese spread lashed generously on white bread is not the sort of thing you eat by the bucket if you want to look pretty and slim. Of course the gradual metamorphosis continued all my life, it was a slow process and not just a physical one, but also a very psychological one.

It’s not easy being an ugly duckling, I’m not trying to solicite a sympathy vote here, neither did I think Rebecca’s breakdown was last night. Feeling ugly and inadequate places an immense spotlight on your inner security and self confidence, it makes you question yourself to tremendous depths, you never really shed the ugly duckling syndrome, no matter how well you succeed or blossom later in life, despite the fact that Rebecca Adlington went on in her life to become an inspirational sporting role model to millions of young girls, she still feels the insecurities that have remained with her all her life, stemming from her childhood, (usually that’s where it all begins) clearly something haunts her, as we witnessed last night on national TV.

I was bullied, taunted, mocked and made to feel very isolated, and isolation plays a major role in insecurity and lack of confidence, people who feel ugly or not good enough will always tend to isolate themselves just that little bit more, it’s a form of self-protection, I know as I have been there too often. The only way to overcome isolation in life is to find a focus that fills your life. Hard work is a wonderful medicine.

There will always be the Amy Willerton’s in this life, to remind you of how you wished you could have been 2 inches taller, or had hair that was just a little bit thicker or a waist just that tiny bit more slender, I stood next to the gorgeous Amy Willerton not so long ago at the W Hotel for a TV Show interview, and whilst I thought she was beautiful and fresh as only a 21 year old lady can be in all their youthful hopefulness, I also felt comfortable in my skin, 15 years her senior, why? well I had finally come to terms with the fact that I may not have been as tall as her, or as blonde as her or held a smile quite as bright as hers, but I had carved an interesting life for myself built on my own independent hard work and achievements where people judged me on my personality, my knowledge and me for just well… ME, it didn’t require me competing against 40 other beauty queens in a pageant or even competing in anything, I had arrived here at this place through hard work, soul searching and merit, one that didn’t rely exclusively upon the way I looked and one that didn’t really mind if I was having an ‘ugly day’.

Last night part of me had hoped that after the debate she held with her camp-mates, Rebecca would have drawn strength by reflecting on who she actually was, and what she had achieved in her life, rather than what she looked like, but I guess it doesn’t help being stranded in a drizzly humid rainforest in front of TV cameras (that does not exactly bring out the best of anybody’s beauty). I couldn’t do what Rebecca did by agreeing to be on that TV show, you can’t get more up close and personal than “I’m a celebrity”, it truly shows you off to the world: warts and all, (I would be lost without my hair straighteners for one) so credit to her and indeed all of the other women in the TV show, in some ways they are ALL a lot stronger than us, but then again the £75,000 cheque payment to appear in the TV show is quite a tempting lure I should imagine.

Sadly, society does place way to much emphasis on the way we look, this is a fact, I don’t need to pull magical statistics out to support the statement, the fact I do what I do in my career is testimony to the fact that ‘looks and image are big business’. I have learnt very slowly to manage the ugly duckling syndrome, it’s been a thirty year process to accept myself, and despite a strong determined and focused personality, I occasionally do falter as well.

When the ugly ducking syndrome does surface it’s quite painful, when something (or some gorgeous human being triggers the feelings) it takes a while to ‘shake it off’ and return to being ‘myself’ again. Something triggered Rebecca last night, and I GET her, however she WILL shake it off too, you’ll see, ”How?” I hear you ask? ….well, once she exits the jungle and see’s the nationwide pouring of support for her revelations last night, confidence and balance will be restored, (or at least temporarily) so I guess Rebecca is blessed in many other ways, as nationwide public support and respect is a beautiful thing to experience in itself, whatever you look like.